Motherhood Through the Lens: Advice from a Mom of Five
As a mother of five, I’ve experienced the chaos, the joy, the challenges, and the magic that come with raising a big family. I’ve also had the unique perspective of being both a mother and a photographer, capturing moments that tell stories of love, growth, and connection. There’s a lot I’ve learned along the way, and while every family’s journey is different, I wanted to share some advice that might help other moms, whether you’re a mom with one, two, or even five little ones (or more!).
1. Embrace the hustle and bustle – It’s Part of the Beauty
As a mother of five, hustle and bustle is a daily companion. When I say this I don’t mean a constant business, but more so, constant individual needs that need to be filled for all those beautiful, little (and big) souls that we are raising. There’s always someone in need, with a specific desire or wish, an area to clean up, or a schedule to juggle. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, but one of the most important things I’ve learned is to embrace the beauty in every moment. Those moments—when the house is noisy, the kids are running around, and life feels like a whirlwind—are the ones that will eventually make you laugh when you look back. There’s beauty in the mess, and as a photographer, I’ve learned that some of the most heartfelt, candid moments happen when everything isn’t perfectly posed.
2. Don’t Wait for “Perfect” to Capture Your Family
It’s easy to think that in order to get a good photo, everything has to be perfect. The kids need to be in matching outfits, the house needs to be tidy, and everyone has to be smiling. But as a mother of five, I can tell you that perfection is rare, and the photos that truly matter are often the ones that show real life—the messy hair, the candid smiles, the little hands reaching for yours. As a photographer, I encourage you to capture moments as they come. If you wait for “perfect,” you’ll miss out on the raw beauty of your everyday life.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a mother of five is that it’s okay to ask for help. Whether it’s your partner, family members, or even a trusted friend, having support makes a huge difference. Don’t feel like you have to do it all. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself means you’ll be able to take better care of your family. As a photographer, I’ve also learned that asking for help on shoots or with editing gives me the time and space to focus on what truly matters, both in my personal and professional life.
4. Cherish the Little Moments
The days may feel long, but the years are short. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and miss the quiet, fleeting moments. As a mother, I’ve learned to slow down and appreciate the small things—like the sound of my baby’s giggles or the way my older kids’ hands fit perfectly in mine. I have really made a shift over the last few years to be very intentional and present with each of my children and the time we spend together as a family. These are the moments that will fill your heart and memories. As a photographer, I’ve learned to capture these details in my work, too—because it’s not just the big events that matter. It’s the everyday magic that often tells the truest story.
5. Let Go of Guilt – You’re Doing Your Best
If there’s one thing I’ve realized as a mom of five, it’s that mom guilt is real. But here’s what I want to tell you: You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. We all have days when things don’t go as planned, when we feel like we’re dropping the ball, or when we can’t do everything we’d like to. But the truth is, love and effort go a long way. The moments you spend with your children, even when things aren’t perfect, are what matter most. Let go of the guilt and know that you’re giving your children something incredibly valuable: your time, your love, and your presence.
6. Take Time for Yourself
As a photographer and a mother, it’s easy to get consumed by work and family life. But taking time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Whether it’s a walk, a cup of coffee, a soak in the tub, or just a few quiet moments with a good book, you need time to recharge. I’ve learned that when I take care of myself, I’m a better mom and a better photographer. It’s important to prioritize your mental and physical health, because it allows you to give your best to those around you.
7. Be Present in Your Family Photos
It’s easy to get caught up in making sure everyone looks perfect for a family photo. But after years of taking photos of my own family and others, I’ve realized the most important thing isn’t how perfect your clothes are or if everyone is smiling at the camera. The real beauty of family photos is the connection and emotion you capture. So, be present. Let the moments unfold naturally—whether that’s a tickle fight, a shared laugh, or a quiet hug. Clint to the things and moments that bring your family joy in the everyday. These are the images you’ll cherish forever.
8. Document the Everyday
As a photographer, I’m always thinking about how to capture those special moments. But what I’ve come to appreciate is that the everyday moments—those ordinary, seemingly insignificant moments—are just as important. The quiet mornings, the messy playdates, the bedtime routines—they’re the moments that make up the heart of your family’s story. Don’t be afraid to document the little things. One day, you’ll look back at those photos and realize how special they truly were.
9. Learn to Let Go of Control
As a mom, I’m often in “control mode”—trying to keep everything running smoothly, making sure the kids are fed, bathed, and on time for everything. But I’ve realized that there’s power in letting go of the need to control everything. I love to allow the kids to play freely during a photoshoot or let them express themselves without overthinking the outcome, learning to let go of control brings a sense of freedom and joy in them. Trust the process, and know that the most beautiful moments often come when you stop trying to make them perfect.
10. Family is Everything
At the end of the day, family is everything. The love you share, the way you support one another, and the memories you create together will be the foundation of your life. As a mother of five, I’ve learned that the greatest gift I can give my children is a home filled with love, laughter, and connection. And as a photographer, I’ve learned that these moments—these connections—are what make the best photos. So, cherish your family, capture the love, and remember that the moments you share today will be the memories you look back on for years to come.
Whether you have one child or five, motherhood is a beautiful, messy, and transformative journey. It will break you completely down and rebuild you better than you could have ever imagined. My advice is simple: find beauty in the everyday moments, capture the moments that matter, and never forget that you have the best job in the world. And as a photographer, I’m here to help you preserve those precious memories in a way that tells your story.
With love,
Harper, also know as “Mom”