Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me: From Bride to Wife
As a photographer, I’ve had the privilege of capturing countless weddings, witnessing couples exchange vows, and watching love unfold through my lens. But what I’ve come to realize over the years is that there’s a profound difference between seeing a wedding day from the outside and experiencing it as the bride. Having made that transition (15 years ago) myself, I wanted to share some of the things I wish someone had told me before I became a bride—and then a wife.
1. The Day Goes by So Much Faster Than You Expect
I had heard it a million times: “Your wedding day will fly by.” But honestly, no amount of preparation can prepare you for how quickly those precious moments pass. The ceremony feels like a blur, and before you know it, the reception is wrapping up. You’ll find yourself thinking, “Wait, what happened to the morning?” I remember trying to add on an hour with our venue, and band on our wedding day. It went by so fast, and we just didn’t want it to end! Make sure you carve out moments to breathe, to pause, and to be present with your partner. Take that time to sit down together and eat, and just be together. Trust me; hire a photographer who knows how to capture those in-between moments so you have something to hold onto when everything else is a whirlwind.
2. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
I spent months agonizing over tiny details—would the flowers be perfect, and did the cake match the theme? In the end, none of that mattered nearly as much as I thought it would. The real magic happens in the moments you can’t plan: the laughter, the tears, the glances from your loved ones. So, my advice is this: don’t get caught up in perfection. Focus on what truly matters: your love and commitment to one another.
3. You’ll Be Surprised by the Power of Your Photos
As a photographer, I’ve always understood the importance of photos. But when it was my own wedding, I didn’t realize just how deeply meaningful those images would become. They weren’t just pretty pictures—they were reminders of the love we shared, the people who celebrated with us, and the emotions we felt in one of the most intimate moments of our life. As much as you’ll treasure the day, it’s the photos that will help you relive it for years to come. Hire someone whose work resonates with you, and trust them to capture more than just the moments you plan on having.
4. Your Wedding Isn’t Just One Day, It’s the Start of a Journey
The wedding is important, yes, but it’s just the beginning. I wish someone had told me how important it is to focus on building the relationship after the wedding. Marriage is about growing together, supporting one another, and adapting to life’s ups and downs. The wedding day may be over in a heartbeat, but the love you’re celebrating is meant to last a lifetime. Keep that perspective in mind, and you’ll find that the wedding is just one chapter in a beautiful story.
5. There’s No Such Thing as “Doing It All”
Whether you’re a DIY bride or having a larger wedding, it’s easy to feel like you have to be in control of everything. As someone who’s typically hands-on, I thought I had to manage every aspect of my wedding day. But here’s the truth: You can’t do it all. Let go of perfectionism, delegate when you can (preferably the thing you are least excited about doing), and trust the people around you. Your family, friends, and wedding vendors are there to help make your day seamless—let them.
6. The Moment You Exchange Vows Will Be More Powerful Than You Can Imagine
I thought I knew what to expect when it came time to say my vows. I realized there’s no way to fully prepare for that surge of emotion. I could barely get them out. My voice was shaking and I was overcome with emotion. It’s surreal, overwhelming, and beautiful. Take it all in, and remember that those few moments are what your entire wedding day is about.
7. Plan Time to Just Be Together
Wedding planning can be stressful, and it’s easy to get lost in the details. But on your actual wedding day, I encourage you to carve out time to just be with the love of your life. Take a quiet moment together before the chaos begins or sneak away for a few minutes during the reception. These small, intimate moments will mean the world to you.
8. It’s Okay to Feel Overwhelmed
For a long time, I thought that as a bride, I should feel nothing but excitement. But truth be told, I was overwhelmed, nervous, and a little anxious. And guess what? That’s okay! Weddings are big, emotional events, and it’s natural to feel all sorts of things. Take it easy on yourself, allow yourself to feel what you feel, and remember that you’re not alone in that experience.
9. You Won’t Regret Investing in Great Photography
As a photographer, I might be biased, but let me say it: great wedding photography is worth every penny. Years from now, when you look back at your photos, you’ll be so grateful to have those memories captured in a way that tells your unique story. Your wedding day is once in a lifetime—investing in a photographer who understands your vision and style will ensure you have photos that you’ll cherish forever.
10. The Best Is Yet to Come
Marriage isn’t just about the wedding—it’s about the life you build together after the big day. The vows, the shared experiences, and the small moments that make up a lifetime of love. As you transition from bride to wife, know that this is just the beginning of an incredible journey. Marrying my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me.
So, to all the brides-to-be out there: take a deep breath, embrace the journey, and remember that your wedding day will be beautiful, no matter what. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, just know you’re not alone—every bride feels it. The most important thing is to be present, to cherish the day, and to remember that the love you’re celebrating is the foundation for everything that comes next.
With love,
Harper